Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
