oh god the rape fog is back!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
