69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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