Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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