Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
