brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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