Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My feet surprised me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
