I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
