I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
