i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
