I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
im on a boat
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