saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
