It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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