Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
