Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
