I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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