U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
