I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
