we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
