I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
