The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
