My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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