I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
