We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
