She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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