I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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