The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
