Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
