Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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