also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
A bitchslap is in order.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
