One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This is the high leading the old right now
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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