I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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