I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
