If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
