Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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