I hate your face
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
