yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
