she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
