You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
