So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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