I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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