somebody snuck up and got me drunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
