is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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