I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize