I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
