I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just had sex on a roof
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
