it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
