I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
