She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
