apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
