it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
