It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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