dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
