were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
