He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
