she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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