My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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