We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just found a bag of teeth...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
