Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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