i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
