this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
