Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
