I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
