They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
