you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
