I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Randomize
