The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
one two three fourrrrnication!
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
