we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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