My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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