I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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