Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
