Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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