How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
