I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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