He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
